Toilet Paper – Yet Again!
This is really getting ridiculous! You think I want to talk about toilet paper all the time? This is, what…fun? Of course it isn’t! But toilet paper is an example of the world going to hell in a handbasket, by gum! The latest fiasco is that you can’t buy colored toilet paper anymore!
Why? Because some idiot of a scientist came out with a “test” that demonstrated colored toilet paper is bad for you! Imagine that! Who would test such a thing? It turns out that according to this supposed test, the dye used to make the colors is irritating to that delicate area usually involved in the application of the product.
The result? Customers (also often being idiots) decided that God forbid we should have any more irritations! And so people stopped choosing color-coordinated toilet paper. Why I remember when decorating a home and a bathroom was fun! I remember when you could burn leaves in the fall! I remember when toys could kill you! Not today, though. No sirree! Colored toilet paper might kill you.
Scott used to sell colors; they were the last remaining company that sold colored toilet paper. Their paper is worthless, really, but hey, if you have to have a color-coordinated bathroom, what’cha gonna do, right? (Or is that doo? I dunno…just sayin’.) Anyway, at least Scott had the good sense to still sell various colors. And then they stopped!
We did some research, called in many people, and asked both of them what was going on. We couldn’t get an answer worth sh*t, so we resorted to the On Line. That’s when we found out about this conspiracy to eliminate all colors except for white toilet paper. To save the children, to save the whales, to save the trees, or some other such stupidity.
Net result? We’re screwed. That’s all she wrote, as far as color-coordinated bathrooms. Oddly enough, you can still get “tissues” (I’m talking snot-rag paper tissues) in various colors. Even those are getting harder to find, though, presumably because they’ll make you blind, or kill you, or wreck the planet.
It just costs too much. That’s the story. Apparently EVERYthing costs too much, nowadays! That’s probably why every single store in America now carries exactly the same products, the same brands, and the same junk. Do you think we get our toilet paper from China too? Probably. I wish life were simpler, like in the Good Old Days. Back when you could get your toilet paper in whatever color you liked. Back when you could get a rare hamburger, too, before they found out that’ll kill you even faster than the dye in toilet paper!
